This is Asher, my little baby suddenly turned boy (take note Amy). When we came to New York there was no way in hell he would EVER put his little face into the water, let alone jump into a pool. I’m so proud of my newfound water-baby.
Thank you Allegra, Dianne and Sal for a wonderful dinner and letting Asher swim in your pool for THREE HOURS!!! Tomorrow when he wakes up with webbed toes and gills we’ll know where to take him.
After introductions were made amongst the children they settled into the back seat of the car and became further acquainted in good ol’ fashioned four-year-old speak:
Corbin (whose dad is a neurophysiologist): I’m going to be a scientist when I grow up.
Asher: I’m going to be an artist when I grow up and make paintings.
Corbin (puzzled pause): Why?
Indeed Corbin, why indeed.
Asher: Goo goooo
Mom: Asher stop talking baby talk…
Asher: Goo goooo
Mom: ASHER, stop talking baby talk!
Asher: Goo GOOO
Mom: (cupping his cheeks and looking into his eyes intently) ASHER, STOP TALKING BABY TALK!
Asher: (cupping Mom’s cheeks and looking into her eyes intently) MOMMY, STOP TALKING PEOPLE TALK!
After a comment from Bryan on the fatness of the local squirrel population:
Asher: (lecturing tone) Dad, fat is NOT a nice word.
Bryan: Well, it’s only bad if you’re saying it to be mean… sometimes it’s the only way to say it… like daddy (lifts shirt and wiggles a belly roll) is fat on his tummy…. it’s kinda squishy, but your tummy is flat.
Asher: And mommy too?
Daddy: Well, mommy has some fat, but not on her tummy like Daddy……
Asher: (grinning) But her boobs are fat….
From my ever-so-observant son. :) Nobody ever tells you about the semantic minefields you have to explain to your brain-to-mouth children. Most of the time it’s incredibly charming, but exasperating when on a bus next to an attractive black man who has an awesome Lenny Kravitz thing going on with his hair, dreads every which way, and your son has been raised in lily fair Utah. He can’t resist pointing out how funny this man’s hair is to him at full volume. As the parents of such a child, or really any child because I’m sure they all do this, you just have got to slap your forehead and suck up your pride. We’re trying to get Asher to whisper his thoughts in our ears now. :) If you have any “My Child Said THIS in a Crowded Room” stories, please feel free to add to the comments - I’d LOVE to hear them. Especially YOU AUNTIES!~!!!! Since I hear you’ve been reading every so often! What’s the best thing your kids have said that still gives you the heebie-jeebies?
Upon entering the Most Holy Temple of F.A.O Schwarz this afternoon:
Asher: Oh!!… oh!!!… (slaps head with both hands)… this is the best place EVER!!!!!
While getting ready to take a bath:
Asher: Mom, my feet are so so dirty.
Mom: Oh yeah?
Asher: Yeah, if grandpa smelled my feet right now he would be SO embarrassed.